Best Chain Letter?

This letter was forwarded to me, claiming to be the best ever chain
letter.  You judge.

Hello, my name is Dan and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will
be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell
her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to
whom you send this email, $1000?  How stupid are we?

"Ooh, look here!  If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"  Whoopee! 
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me
in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.  Forget
them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" letters about 90 times.  I don't bloody care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. 
The point being, if you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.  If it's funny, send it
on.  Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for
twenty seven years and whose only salvation is the five cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.  Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me $100 for making you laugh!