We get your forwarded letters too!

Please don't pass this onto your friends.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.  One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. 
There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. 
An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.



"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."



"No, I can't accept payment for what I did", the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. 
At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 
"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly.



"I'll make you a deal.  Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. 
If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." 
And that he did.  Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.



Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. 
What saved his life this time?  Penicillin.  The name of the nobleman? 
Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?  Sir Winston Churchill.



I won't bore you with promises of happiness if you forward this to your friends. In fact, please don't!

Best Chain Letter?

This letter was forwarded to me, claiming to be the best ever chain
letter.  You judge.

Hello, my name is Dan and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will
be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell
her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to
whom you send this email, $1000?  How stupid are we?

"Ooh, look here!  If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"  Whoopee! 
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me
in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.  Forget
them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" letters about 90 times.  I don't bloody care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. 
The point being, if you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.  If it's funny, send it
on.  Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for
twenty seven years and whose only salvation is the five cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.  Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me $100 for making you laugh!

The problem with "illegals"

Is it any wonder there's a demand for foreign workers in the US? $7 an hour
is not a living wage, so naturally the American labor force doesn't race to take
those jobs. Packing house wages haven't increased in twenty years, mostly as a
direct result of illegal immigration and south-of-the-border recruiting efforts,
and partly because we've started moving American companies to cheaper labor --
and right out of the jurisdiction of fair labor standards and market value in
this country. American workers cannot compete on this playing field without
sending Mom to work, thereby dominishing family values and the family unit
itself!